I must admit that when I coerced Yayay to date me on Valentine's Day of 2011, I wanted nothing but a date with (1) a stable and totally NOT whiny guy, (2) someone whose not younger than me, and (3) someone who I hope will not look at me like I'm going to be good for his diet. Yayay, who I met through my mom, fit the bill, and I know he would think twice about doing something stupid lest he wanted to answer to my mother. I wasn't really expecting sparks; I just wanted someone decent to go out with. However, the first date of dinner and fireworks was so awe-spectacular that I found myself dating him every weekend for the next six weeks after that. Everything that followed was, like they say, history.
And here we are, a year later, still together. Still pretty much in love.
It's been a year, and Yayay has never made me cry. Not once. I thought that the fighting and the crying and the pain is part of a relationship, and after the last one, I am more than prepared and probably expecting that. However, as I looked back at the things that happened over the past year when we were filming the video that was my anniversary gift to Yayay, it dawned on me that I have never cried because of him. We do fight, but we never got around to crying. There was no pain that lulled me to sleep. Ever. He had been that good to me.
I used to have too many regrets in my life. Things I wished I did but never got around to doing mostly because I was sick. I regret not going to university. I regret not boarding a plane sooner, something I've always been afraid of doing. During our trip to Coron last March, I climbed all 724 steps to Mt. Tapyas and more than 150 steps to Kayangan Lake. I have never, in my whole life since I became sick, did I think I was ever going to do that. Nobody believed I could, so I also never thought I could. But Yayay believed. When I told him, "Bahala na si Lord. Kaya yan!" regarding our plan to climb Mt. Tapyas, he told me, "Yan ang gusto ko sayo. Wala kang inaatrasan" all my belief on myself returned. I can't be afraid of getting tired anymore. Now's the time to not regret anything. Now is the time to live and to do something I am going to be proud of. While it took me two hours to get to Mt. Tapyas' summit, I did get there.
The most rewarding "buwis-buhay" stunt I'll ever do!
Yayay taught me that life is not about convenience. That it is about seizing opportunities and going to where there's something more to learn from. Back to three years ago, I told myself that I won't leave Clientcom unless a job abroad is knocking on my door already. It's just 20 minutes from home anyway. There is no harrowing commute involved. It was the very definition of convenience. So I stuck it out even if the person who drilled on me that it was very convenient was already out of my life. That is until I met Yayay. When I was already at odds with my previous job, he asked me, "May natututunan ka pa ba dyan? Masaya ka pa ba?" When all I had as an answer is "No", he supported my decision to get out. He didn't care about the convenience of the job. My sickness will not be the deciding factor as to whether I should stay or not.
When people write "I love you not only for who you are but for who I am when I am with you" before, I didn't get it. Now, I understand. I have never thought I will be this version of myself, but now I am. I look at myself, look back at the previous year with Yayay, and I am happy not just because he is a great guy, but because I feel like I am a great girl because of him.
Yayay always tells me that I made his life happier when I came, but as for me, he gave me a life worth living. And if the first year is a preview of what the rest of the relationship will be, then I can say I definitely have one I really want to keep.