Friday, December 31, 2010

2010: A Blessing in Disguise

A blessing in disguise. As I bid 2010 goodbye, I am using those four words to describe it. By now, people already know how horribly epic the middle of my 2010 had been. It was one of pain, the kind that left you clutching at your heart. FOr a while, it felt like it will go on forever. But it proved itself just a ride that eventually ended. It was a ride, however, that led me to believe that everything that went horribly worng in this year are really blessings.

The heartbreak led me to finding people who stuck with me through just about every shit that happened in this year. I found my bestfriend this year, that one person who stayed no matter how hard I pushed him away sometimes. I found my soulmates this year. Those girls you only need to have an eye contact with and understand each other perfectly well. There are those people who heard me out and shared the pain because they've been through it, too. There are those who are more than willing to go on food trips just so we can all forget how heartbreaking getting heartbroken really is. And that one person from his camp (Hi Yen!) who has been loyal to me all throughout. We laughed over them, and I had never been more entertained in my life. The laughs helped me through some very tough times.

Getting heartbroken led me to another dream: that of teaching. I have always wanted to become a teacher. My earliest memories of teaching happened when I was very young, gathering the neighborhood kids over at our house, and with my very own set of chalks (colored at that! :) ) and my own blackboard, we went through things I don't even remember anymore during summer afternoons. September this year, I was given that opportunity to have two classrooms full of students, my very own kids who put up with my late-ness, and we all went crazy over thesis statements, run-on sentences and comma splices, and their 5-paragraph papers.

2010 also saw me meeting people I probably never met if I had not changed my relationship status. They were people who served their purpose well. They provided the distraction I needed so much and made me learn even more lessons than the one my heartbreak has taught me. We laughed together, and then my Bes and I laughed at them after. Haha. But no matter how small a role they played in my year, they all completed the puzzle that my 2010 has been.

Aside from them, there were those people who played some very important roles in my life when they were just minor characters before. First, there was my boss, who shared her story with me to help me get over the hurt. There is the big boss who had been patient even when I wasn't doing the work that I should be doing. There were my Gaymen, the people who worked for my Surprise Birthday party. The same people I worked with for this year's productivity award. They have been more than subordinates. After this year, when I turn them over to their new TL, I know that I have gained friends who'll probably look after my back and I for theirs.

And then there was him. When my days had been shitty, I used to listen to Coldplay's Fix You, and I always think to myself "Someday, someone's gonna come, and he'll fix me" which he did. No details. Just that. Everything's just too premature now. I can only be hopeful.

2010 is definitely a blessing in disguise. It was winning disguised as a loss, it was friendships that stemmed out of a heartbreak, it was a dream in the form of one that got shattered, it was redemption found in pain. In the end, it was still epic, but one that is very blessed. It may be in disguise, but I have already uncovered its real meaning. When I look back now, it will be with a smile that came with growing up, formed by a blessing in disguise.

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