#Biyayaforevs: Countdown to 100

I can't believe we're now just down to 100 days (technically, 102 as I write this) before we get married. It wasn't long ago when I counted down to 200 days. We've had a number of wins or ticked to-dos from our list from the past 100 days. So far, this girl's still a bridechilla. So what happened in the last 100 days?

We finished all the artwork for the invitation.
Our invitation is probably the most painful part of wedding planning for us. My brother started the paintings sometime in April if I remember it right. There were a lot of details we wanted to put in that it took him a while to finish and then my cousin digitized these drawings. I loooove all the artwork my brother and cousin created. A couple of weeks ago, we already sat down with our invitation designer (my good friend/bridesman, Ricky), and he told me we can have it printed by the 28th. Hopefully, that happens because I already want my lola to bring the invites for Tita Mia and Tita Cielo when she flies to the US on the 30th.

I had my first fitting.
I met with my wedding gown designer early July and had my first fitting. My gown turned out a bit different from what we initially discussed (for example, there will be no tulle overlay for my reception gown anymore) and the color was different from what I imagined. From our last discussion, it seemed like the appliques will be a bit different from the pegs I sent. I voiced out my concern over this because I couldn't visualize what my designer intends to do, but he agreed to show me the appliques before he stitches them on in case I didn't like them and need to have them changed. There needs to be some adjustments on the bodice, but so far, so good. I'll be fitting again this September. I can't wait!

We had our food tasting.
We booked our caterer before we even tasted any of their dishes, which wasn't so weird to me at first until my friends from a wedding support group told me that they all had their food tasting first before they booked their caterers. We finally had our food tasting last August 14. We dragged our parents with us, so they can chat a bit and get to know each other a bit more. I think that it went well, and we liked the dishes we tasted although they didn't serve everything on the menu, so we ended up with dishes that we really didn't get to taste. Lol. I am just really banking on Balay Indang's reputation at this point. We also grabbed the chance to show Yayay's parents what the venue looked like, and like everyone else we brought there before, we were met with "Ito na yon?" when they saw the entrance and a "Ah maganda pala at malaki" when they finally went inside. Haha. I really feel that we need to do something about that entrance. I will brainstorm with my entourage soon.

The parentals and the fiance's parentals.

Shelah and I went to Divi and finally bought the fabric for their gowns.
Let me be honest: I am not that excited about the fabric we bought. We couldn't find the right shade of red I want them to wear, so we settled on the darkest one we saw, which it turned out, isn't as dark as I thought. :( We bought some fabric last February, and it turned out darker than the one we bought last July. I am just hoping that this fabric will not turn orange in the photos. My photographer's shots tend to be lighter than actual colors. However, I refuse to let 20 yards of fabric go to waste even if Yayay said I should just buy again if I am not happy with the one I purchased.

We were able to get our wedding rings.
We had our wedding rings made in Mayfair at Binondo. We went there in June just to look around, but we placed our order in the same day. The wedding ring I ended up with was entirely different from the peg I saw online. I really like one with uneven edges in rosegold, which I saw from one of the jewelry makers I am following on IG. However, the woman at Mayfair said they can try to make it but it may not look exactly like the photo I have with me. They can fix it until I am satisfied, though, but I need to pay every time they'll do additional work on it. I didn't want all the uncertainties (and definitely not the additional payments), so I decided to just pick a design from what they currently have and place an order in my size. But because I can't seem to make up my mind, Yayay picked out my ring for me. It is beautiful and looks good with my engagement ring. Then after a month, we went back for it. I still can't stop myself from wearing it every now and then.

The BAWIES had a bachelorette party!
The BAWIES is made up of girls from the wedding support group that we're all a part of. Member of Weddings@Work are called Wawies, but the girls in our group turned out to be workaholics (most them are at work when we have our chat sessions) so we nicknamed ourselves Bawies, which means "Brides-at-work". So anyway, we had our bachelorette party at Victoria Court in Pasig last July. I am usually not down with spending time with people I haven't actually met, but these girls are pretty close to my heart and we've shared some really crazy things over the past few months, they aren't strangers anymore. The party turned out to be really fun (but, you know, what happens in Victoria Court stays in Victoria Court), so let's just leave that at "fun." ;)

The B@WIES - Aki!

The B@WIES + Aki!

I am continuing this post a month after and so far, we don't have the invitations yet (hopefully, this week), and my fitting was moved to October. Yayay and I also had the most exhausting 3 days last week, but we were able to file for our marriage license, go to Marikina to order Yayay's custom shoes, and have Yayay confirmed (finally!! We went through so much headache to have the details in his baptismal certificate corrected).

It's just 67 days til we say our I dos. I can't wait for the craziness to end, and to be able to see Yayay's face every single day. :)

Coming full circle

It was the year 2010 when I got my heart broken. I remember it was May 25, so around this time six years ago, I wrote a great deal about it in this blog and wrote even more emo, kadiri, heartbreak statuses in Facebook. My favorite social media site has evolved so much that it kept on reminding me about these posts every year. I didn't go around making a deal of deleting them. These weren't good memories, but these remind me that things will work out in the end. I like being reminded of that.

The past five years were ok. After all, it didn't take me a year to find someone who will make my heart go a-flutter again. I have lived my life as happily as I can. I am more in love now than I had ever been in my entire life. But you never really fully recover from heartbreak and the trauma it brought you. There are a lot of things in this world that brings back the pain. Not the intense pain I felt in 2010, but a tiny tug in my being reminding me that something awful happened a long time ago. To be honest, I don't even remember what it was like being with my ex. Sometimes, I'd stumble on his name in mutual friends' pages, and I feel like I don't know the guy anymore. That is weird because I have never forgotten the pain he's brought into my life.

Yes, the past five years were ok. Until June 20 this year rolled around. It was time once again for Facebook to remind me of my emo statuses from the past, but this year, sitting on top of the On This Day reminders, on top of all my shitty heartbreak posts, is this one:

 

And it felt like I have finally come full circle. It was a complete reversal of where I was six years ago. I felt like God told me, "Diba sabi ko Ako ang bahala sa'yo?" And, indeed, God has been so faithful to me.

He made sure that I never lost faith in my happy ending even when I was reeling in pain. Somehow, I knew that eventually it will work out. It didn't make the pain any less painful, but it helped me look forward. 2010 feels like a lifetime ago already. 

And now, here I am, a few months away from our forever. Sometimes, I look at Gerald as he sleeps, and my heart can't stop doing silly little dances. I am so lucky; I really am. God really made it up to me. Siguro sinasabi Niya, "Ayan ha. Bayad na Ako sa utang Ko sa'yo. With interest pa."

#biyayaforevs

The story of our engagement went way back last year.  For me, at least.

I have been waiting for the moment for what seemed like a really, really, really long time, and I had a lot of hopia moments since last year. Mid-2014, my boyfriend and another friend have been teasing one of their friends that his boyfriend will propose to her during a vacation outside the country. During that time, we had a trip planned for October. We're going to Bali - our first vacation outside of the Philippines. I don't know why, but I suddenly had this feeling that Bali might be "it" for us. I got myself all pumped up and saw signs that, looking back now, are just things that really don't mean anything. In May last year, I lost a ring in a hotel in Baguio. I had this crazy idea that maybe he was keeping it and using it to buy me an engagement ring. I was really hoping for big things in Bali. But nothing happened. I wasn't heartbroken about it, though; Bali was beautiful even without the engagement. Maybe, it just really wasn't the right time.

 At Pura Ulun Danu Bratan, Bedegul (October 2014)

So I then looked forward to El Nido where we will be celebrating our 4th anniversary. It seemed to make sense to me - it was our anniversary and El Nido is one of the most beautiful spots in our country. I just felt like Yayay is not the type who'll just propose in an ordinary place, but I also know he won't go through anything that will require extensive planning - nothing like the flash mob types. I had my hopes up again. Every now and then, I'd ask him about getting engaged and in one conversation I asked out loud when it was going to happen. He looked at me with a mischievous smile and said "soon." I was over the moon. I was really, really, really hoping that it'll be El Nido for us. But El Nido came and went, and I am again back in Manila with no bling in tow.

 Small Lagoon, El Nido (March 2015)

At that point, I was exasperated. I had conversations with my sister in Skype as evidence. I told her that I am getting tired of waiting, that I don't know if Yayay will ever get around to it. Before going to Batanes, I remember telling my sister that I am not sure what I'll do if I go back home still not engaged. It should be IT; we do not have anything planned after Batanes because we talked about our future early 2015 and we're pretty much set on putting in a down payment for a house. Usually, we'd have multiple trips planned ahead of time (e.g. we booked Batanes even before we got to go to Bali and El Nido even before we got to visit Batanes), but there's nothing after Batanes. Weirdly enough, I snapped out of the craziness as June rolled in. I was still hoping, but I was pretty calm about it.

And then it was time for Batanes. Let me tell you this: pictures don't do Batanes any justice. It was so breathtakingly beautiful. Every spot, every nook and cranny is picturesque. Batanes can be overwhelming on the senses in a REALLY good way. Sa sobrang ganda, mapapagod ka mag-picture! In short, I forgot about getting engaged as soon as I set foot on the island - until we were at the Tinyan-Chamantad view point in Sabtang. That was June 19 - our 51st monthsary.

Tinyan-Chamantad Viewpoint, Sabtang (June 2015)

It was a tiring walk (at least for me. Every kind of walk is tiring for me anyway) to the tip of the view point. Somewhere along the way, while I stopped to catch my breath, I looked around the rolling hills around me. It was so calming, and then suddenly, I remembered the engagement and I panicked! My heart raced and a voice in my head kept on shouting, "Oh no sana wag dito! Ang daming tao nakakahiya!" Sobrang na-stress ako! Hahaha! And then Yayay led me to the rock - one of the spots in the view point where people go to take photos. Sobra kong kinabahan! I was thinking hindi ko kakayanin pag bigla na lang lumuhod dito si Yayay!! Well, to my relief (and disappointment - I can't seem to make up my mind about this engagement: gusto ko ba talaga o hinde??) he didn't propose that day.

Not today, Bianca. Still not today. (Tinyan-Chamantad Viewpoint, June 19, 2015) 

So June 20 rolled in - our third day in Batanes. We got into a silly fight that morning, and I was so annoyed at Yayay. Napaka-suplada ko na naman kay Yayay. Haha! He tried to talk me out of my bad mood the entire morning, but I just kept getting annoyed. I think I snapped out of it when we were already in Alapad Hill. The tour is almost done at that point. Maybe just 2 or 3 more spots left and we will be calling it a day.

Konti na lang, girl! (Alapad Hill, Batan. June 20, 2015)

We started the South Batan tour late, so we decided to divert from the usual route. We were supposed to have lunch at Marlboro Country like all other tour groups, but since we just had breakfast, we decided to visit other spots first and just have late lunch. When we got to Racuh a Payaman (Marlboro Country), we practically have the entire place to ourselves. There is just one group left taking photos while we had lunch. When it was time for us to go up the hill, it was empty already - just us and our tour guide. He took photos of us. We then took some selfies, sat on the ground, and took some more selfies. Then Yayay sent our tour guide away "Sige Kuya, una na kayo. Sunod na lang kami." I was just sitting there, taking all the beauty in - the rolling hills, the ocean, more rolling hills, and Mt. Iraya in the distance and then suddenly, "Babe, tayo ka." Sabi ko, "Bakit?" "Sige na. Tayo ka."

Racuh a Payaman aka Marlboro Country (June 20, 2015)

And then it happened.

"Babe, love mo ba ko?" Arte! Anong love-love?

"Ha? Ano ka ba? Syempre!" Isa pang maarte!
 
"Babe, nakapag-decide na ko." Oh my God, ito na ba yon?!

Yayay gets down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

I vaguely remember asking Yayay, "Seryoso ba 'to?! Seryoso ka ba??" a few times. I can't remember it vividly. But according to him, that's exactly what happened. Sabi niya mukha daw akong nagpapanggap na di ko alam ang nangyayari. Haha! Pero seriously, no matter how many times you've prayed and hoped and prayed some more, an engagement has a tendency to throw you off course. Kahit gaano ka na ka-hopia, you'd deny the moment when it's finally there.

I remember though that I said yes, kissed him, and he slipped the diamond on my finger.

And just like that, my months of hopia moments are over. Biyayaforevs is finally happening.