#biyayaforevs

The story of our engagement went way back last year.  For me, at least.

I have been waiting for the moment for what seemed like a really, really, really long time, and I had a lot of hopia moments since last year. Mid-2014, my boyfriend and another friend have been teasing one of their friends that his boyfriend will propose to her during a vacation outside the country. During that time, we had a trip planned for October. We're going to Bali - our first vacation outside of the Philippines. I don't know why, but I suddenly had this feeling that Bali might be "it" for us. I got myself all pumped up and saw signs that, looking back now, are just things that really don't mean anything. In May last year, I lost a ring in a hotel in Baguio. I had this crazy idea that maybe he was keeping it and using it to buy me an engagement ring. I was really hoping for big things in Bali. But nothing happened. I wasn't heartbroken about it, though; Bali was beautiful even without the engagement. Maybe, it just really wasn't the right time.

 At Pura Ulun Danu Bratan, Bedegul (October 2014)

So I then looked forward to El Nido where we will be celebrating our 4th anniversary. It seemed to make sense to me - it was our anniversary and El Nido is one of the most beautiful spots in our country. I just felt like Yayay is not the type who'll just propose in an ordinary place, but I also know he won't go through anything that will require extensive planning - nothing like the flash mob types. I had my hopes up again. Every now and then, I'd ask him about getting engaged and in one conversation I asked out loud when it was going to happen. He looked at me with a mischievous smile and said "soon." I was over the moon. I was really, really, really hoping that it'll be El Nido for us. But El Nido came and went, and I am again back in Manila with no bling in tow.

 Small Lagoon, El Nido (March 2015)

At that point, I was exasperated. I had conversations with my sister in Skype as evidence. I told her that I am getting tired of waiting, that I don't know if Yayay will ever get around to it. Before going to Batanes, I remember telling my sister that I am not sure what I'll do if I go back home still not engaged. It should be IT; we do not have anything planned after Batanes because we talked about our future early 2015 and we're pretty much set on putting in a down payment for a house. Usually, we'd have multiple trips planned ahead of time (e.g. we booked Batanes even before we got to go to Bali and El Nido even before we got to visit Batanes), but there's nothing after Batanes. Weirdly enough, I snapped out of the craziness as June rolled in. I was still hoping, but I was pretty calm about it.

And then it was time for Batanes. Let me tell you this: pictures don't do Batanes any justice. It was so breathtakingly beautiful. Every spot, every nook and cranny is picturesque. Batanes can be overwhelming on the senses in a REALLY good way. Sa sobrang ganda, mapapagod ka mag-picture! In short, I forgot about getting engaged as soon as I set foot on the island - until we were at the Tinyan-Chamantad view point in Sabtang. That was June 19 - our 51st monthsary.

Tinyan-Chamantad Viewpoint, Sabtang (June 2015)

It was a tiring walk (at least for me. Every kind of walk is tiring for me anyway) to the tip of the view point. Somewhere along the way, while I stopped to catch my breath, I looked around the rolling hills around me. It was so calming, and then suddenly, I remembered the engagement and I panicked! My heart raced and a voice in my head kept on shouting, "Oh no sana wag dito! Ang daming tao nakakahiya!" Sobrang na-stress ako! Hahaha! And then Yayay led me to the rock - one of the spots in the view point where people go to take photos. Sobra kong kinabahan! I was thinking hindi ko kakayanin pag bigla na lang lumuhod dito si Yayay!! Well, to my relief (and disappointment - I can't seem to make up my mind about this engagement: gusto ko ba talaga o hinde??) he didn't propose that day.

Not today, Bianca. Still not today. (Tinyan-Chamantad Viewpoint, June 19, 2015) 

So June 20 rolled in - our third day in Batanes. We got into a silly fight that morning, and I was so annoyed at Yayay. Napaka-suplada ko na naman kay Yayay. Haha! He tried to talk me out of my bad mood the entire morning, but I just kept getting annoyed. I think I snapped out of it when we were already in Alapad Hill. The tour is almost done at that point. Maybe just 2 or 3 more spots left and we will be calling it a day.

Konti na lang, girl! (Alapad Hill, Batan. June 20, 2015)

We started the South Batan tour late, so we decided to divert from the usual route. We were supposed to have lunch at Marlboro Country like all other tour groups, but since we just had breakfast, we decided to visit other spots first and just have late lunch. When we got to Racuh a Payaman (Marlboro Country), we practically have the entire place to ourselves. There is just one group left taking photos while we had lunch. When it was time for us to go up the hill, it was empty already - just us and our tour guide. He took photos of us. We then took some selfies, sat on the ground, and took some more selfies. Then Yayay sent our tour guide away "Sige Kuya, una na kayo. Sunod na lang kami." I was just sitting there, taking all the beauty in - the rolling hills, the ocean, more rolling hills, and Mt. Iraya in the distance and then suddenly, "Babe, tayo ka." Sabi ko, "Bakit?" "Sige na. Tayo ka."

Racuh a Payaman aka Marlboro Country (June 20, 2015)

And then it happened.

"Babe, love mo ba ko?" Arte! Anong love-love?

"Ha? Ano ka ba? Syempre!" Isa pang maarte!
 
"Babe, nakapag-decide na ko." Oh my God, ito na ba yon?!

Yayay gets down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

I vaguely remember asking Yayay, "Seryoso ba 'to?! Seryoso ka ba??" a few times. I can't remember it vividly. But according to him, that's exactly what happened. Sabi niya mukha daw akong nagpapanggap na di ko alam ang nangyayari. Haha! Pero seriously, no matter how many times you've prayed and hoped and prayed some more, an engagement has a tendency to throw you off course. Kahit gaano ka na ka-hopia, you'd deny the moment when it's finally there.

I remember though that I said yes, kissed him, and he slipped the diamond on my finger.

And just like that, my months of hopia moments are over. Biyayaforevs is finally happening.

Enchanting Coron

In two days, it's going to be three months since I neglected this blog. A lot has happened that's actually share-worthy, but I don't know, I wasn't feeling the kick to write lately. I've been having some highs and lows this year that I am getting quite confused myself. I don't want that confusion to transfer to any of the hapless souls who happened to stumble in here. Today, I am not quite so up to sharing the lows, so let's focus on the highs for this post.

I've done a lot of traveling, going around this year since I quit my full-time job at CCI. Last March, I found myself on my second plane ride bound for Coron. The Coron Town proper is a 45-minute ride away from the Busuanga Airport. Unlike Puerto Princesa, there's not much city feel in Coron. It's a quaint little coastal town. I asked the driver who took us to Maquinit Hot Springs if they have Jollibee there (haha), and he said that they don't have any fastfood "kasi malulugi po ang ibang kainan." Aside from this, Coron experiences some power outage during the day. There was actually one night in the hotel when the power went out. We checked in at Palanca Guest House, which is very near the boat docking area. It's not much to boast (very basic), but the room we got was big and clean. I'm not for luxury when traveling, and I'm ok as long as the floor and bathroom are clean. We got to Coron late afternoon after our flight got delayed for about an hour or so. We only had a few minutes to get prepped by our contact person, and then we changed for an early evening dip at Maquinit Hot Springs. I am not joking when I tell you it's almost scalding hot. It was so hot I need to dip myself little by little into the water so that my body can adjust to the temperature. It's very relaxing, though, once you get used to the very hot water. One thing I hope they work on are shower rooms. They don't have any, just changing rooms.

After around 30 minutes, we left the place and headed back to town where we had our first meal at Bistro Coron. I read some websites before going to Coron, and it doesn't seem like Coron has a specialty dish (unlike Puerto Princesa which has tamilok), so we had pizza and pasta on our first night. I recommend you go to Bistro Coron if you find yourself in the quaint town in the future.

Bistro Coron

Early the next day, a tricycle picked us up from the lodge for our Coron Island tour. This includes a tour of Siete Picados, a famous snorkeling spot, the very beautiful and serene Kayangan Lake, lunch in Sampaloc Island, the Twin Lagoons, and snorkeling again at a shipwreck site. A trip to CYC Island was supposed to be a part of the tour, but we decided not to go there anymore since our guide informed us that it's not that clean since the island is free, which means no one's really paid to take care of it or clean it up. Because we decided to skip this one, we just anchored somewhere in the middle of the sea near CYC island to snorkel some more (I got panicky seeing the sea urchins, though, so I did not last very long snorkeling).

Me snorkeling at Siete Picados.

Except for a lot of corals, there isn't much to see at Siete Picados. I think Puerto Princesa's Pambato Reef is more interesting. or maybe we just anchored at a wrong part of the sea?

The Kayangan Lake drop off point. The actual lake is actually beyond that hill at the back.

Meet Steph and Kriztian, out tour buddies. We only met them during the tour

This is me on one of my many breaks during the climb. The steps were made of uneven and slippery slabs of rocks, which made the whole climb even more tiring and very challenging (dangerous).

The very famous Coron limestone. If you come back from Coron without a picture of this, then you probably didn't really go to Coron. Haha.

First view of Kayangan Lake. It was worth the climb.

Very, very, very serene. And very, very, very blue green, too

The Twin Lagoons are separated by a rock, and one has to go under a very narrow opening to get to the other side. The water is warm in some parts and cold in others.

 
So that wraps up our first day in Coron.

Note: I edited this more than 2 years later, so pardon if I won't be telling the tale of what happened during the other days of our Coron tour. Haha.

The Past, Present, and Future Presented (but not necessarily in that order)

I've been gone for quite some time, and during the past few months, a lot of things happened and changed. For now, I'll focus on the changes because I haven't gotten around to editing the pictures that will go in the blog post about the things that happened yet.

It's no secret that I already left my job of more than four years sometime in February. Back during that time, I thought I had a pretty clear idea of where I want to go to next. I was pretty dead set in pursuing a career in one of the biggest companies in the country that my uncle was employed in. I was thinking of a career in communications or sales.

However, I did not go apply for a job immediately after leaving my old company. I figured, if I get a job soon, it's going to get in the way of my planned Coron trip in March, which was really my main concern that time. Instead, I took a part time job because I really didn't want to be bothered with schedule. I only started looking for a job sometime after the Holy Week and was all excited about what the world will have for me -- only to have my little happy bubble get burst.

I thought that my four-year experience at CCI will actually get me somewhere. After all, and this would sound a lot like bragging, I've done a number of things there I am proud of and handling a team seems like an experience that is going to be relevant in other companies. Unfortunately, it isn't. The kind of service we offer at Clientcomm is so unique, it's impossible to use it anywhere else. Aside from this, my experience handling teams there will only lead to another job in a BPO-setting, something I am not really sure I like.

To cut the long story short, I spent less than two months going to interviews, and nothing fruitful came out of them. My experience just seemed irrelevant everywhere. Add that to the fact that I didn't use my Computer Science degree at all during the past four years that I've been working, deeming that degree practically unusable.

It's at this point wherein I sunk in a semi-depressed state that no one really knew except the boyfriend. I was filled with frustrations from head to foot. For a short time, I didn't know what to do with my life, and there were times when I was alone and I'll just cry. But just like what I learned back in 2010, I started to rise up above it all when I've already sunk so low.

Sometime in June, I started re-assessing my priorities and my motivations in getting a job, and I realized that maybe I was going after a career for the wrong reasons. Over the past year, I've been acquainted with what I will call the career people (how un-inventive, Bianca. haha). I wouldn't name who these people are, but the stories I've been hearing about their jobs and the perks were pretty impressive that I kind of wanted the same thing for myself.  It made me see the the big differences with their careers and my job at CCI. At CCI, people will come at a point where they will have to admit that it's the farthest they can go already. I saw this point because of the career people. There was no way I'm going to get what those people are getting if I stayed at CCI. I feel that this is one of the main reasons why I left my previous job.

When I sunk low, however, I started asking myself if the benefits of a career are really what's pushing me to look for one in the first place. Will that reason be enough? I spent some time analyzing and re-analyzing what I really want. Do I just want a health card? A car loan? Security? What do I really want the future to be like? This re-assessment didn't really allow me to look forward to today, but it did something even better: it brought me back to the past.

I realized that I knew what I want all along. As a matter of fact,  my dreams were very clear as early as I was 16, probably when I was even younger. I've always known what I want to be. I may have been unsure the past couple of years, but my heart has always known. My semi-depressed state made me realize what my dream is, and what it has always been: I want to be a mother.

I want a child or children, no matter how many God gives me. I want someone to read stories to, teach alphabets to, make clay sculptures with. I want someone to feed and smell and discipline. I want someone I will bring to Nursery school, and if he/she goes home crying, I'll want to be the person to wipe those tears away and tell him/her that Mama will always be here. And then he/she will smile and things will be alright again. Then we'll draw and color and even cook brownies. I'll teach him/her who Jesus is and make sure he/she will  never go to bed without saying a prayer of thanks. I'll make sure he/she knows what's right from wrong and make sure he/she will know how to say "I'm sorry," "thank you," and "I love you." And when he/she has grown and get hurt and make mistakes, I'm going to be there for him/her to hold on, too.

But not only that. I also want a husband who'll give me the sweetest kiss when he gets home from work and tell me that he's just eaten the best meal he's ever eaten every single time. When he'll have a particularly hard day at work, I'll give him a back rub and make sure he goes to bed with a smile on his face. I want someone who'll tell me he's got my back and I'll also tell him I've got his. On very lazy Sundays, we'll just watch TV together. I want a husband who's going to raise God-fearing children with me. Who's going to be with me through the thick and thin and everything that will go in between even when everything's going South already.

And before I know it, things just fell into place.

Right now, I've stopped job searching. Why am I going after a career I know I will let go of when the time comes my dream will come true? So does this mean I'll just bum around my house until I get married and have a family? Or were you guys thinking I'm about to announce that I'm with a baby and getting married before the year ends? Ummm, neither.

I have decided to take on a full-time, home-based work, and while I'm at it, I'll start the business I've conceptualized last year. Maybe, I'll take a sewing class -- something I've always wanted but never found the time to do. And since I can bring my job anywhere, I can go on trips whenever I want to. Or I can take up Education majoring in Child Education to prepare for the time when I'm with a child or children. Suddenly, the opportunities are endless.

So to commemorate these changes, I did this:

Oh, I did mention changes? The other change is I got drunk already, and as I was told, I was a very funny drunk. I'm turning 26 in October, and I only got drunk this year. The culprit? Tequila. My boyfriend and I had half a bottle of tequila the night the Comedy King died. You'd think, after I've gotten smashed (and developed rashes after), that I will just completely forget about tequila. Unfortunately, I haven't. I think about tequila every now and then, but I've been good. Haven't gotten drunk again. At least not yet.

And that is the anticlimactic end to this blog post. Sorry for the letdown, you guys. :)